Red Sketchers—2004-2012

Today I retire a pair of shoes that have been with me for an embarrassingly long amount of time—and embarrassing time period, too. I think about everything these shoes have seen while attached to the bottom of my feet and then I rejoice over the fact that inanimate objects can't talk. In case you're not able to get to your local paper, here's the obit for my old kicks:

Red Sketchers, 8 years old, of Great Lakes Crossings Mall (in Lake Orion, Michigan), died May 15, 2012 in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. He was the father of Grey New Balance Classics, and second cousin once removed to Brooks Adrenaline GTX.
Red Sketchers survived many a tumultuous high school football game and adventures around town. Later, Red Sketchers moved to Allendale, Michigan where he was kicked around four different college apartments, subjected to late nights waiting for chili cheese fries at 4 a.m. and other general collegiate debauchery. Later, Red Sketchers moved to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania where he lived out the remainder of his years on the uneven brick lined streets.
He passed away at the bottom of a closet surrounded by fellow retired friends Ugly Eddie Bower Flip Flops and Cute Heels With Interior Razor Blades. Red Sketchers will be remembered for aiding in the chase of boys, causing trouble and easy slip on ability. It’s with soleful sorrow we lay him to rest.

RIP Red Sketchers

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