The Fourth Trimester
Cameron is napping in his crib as I write this. He usually takes a morning and afternoon nap—unless one doesn’t happen or one is crazy long or if he passed out during a long walk. Sometimes he falls asleep on his own and sometimes I need the soothie, a swaddle or a 11-hour long YouTube video of a fan playing to help him doze off.
You’d be surprised how many very long white noise YouTube videos exist. And thank god for them.
I’ve learned so many ways to bond, care and play with my little boy over our almost three months home together. I’ve watched him grow from a six pound bundle of jerky newborn movements to a squishy 12 pound smiley boy full of spunk and joy.
And I’ve grown too—from a frazzled new mom who hesitated to leave him unsupervised for a bathroom break, to a frazzled new mom who laughs from the bathroom when crying starts while yelling back “you’re ok, one minute please!”
Sometimes I didn’t love my maternity leave. We had some long C- days. (I usually give Ben a report card grade on our day when he gets home from work.) But sometimes I loved it and had a hard time falling asleep at night knowing the next time I’d see Cameron he’d be a day older.
I’m simultaneously looking forward to going back to work next week and so sad to not be caring for Cameron everyday. I need the mental challenge and collaboration with coworkers to be the best version of myself for him. I know he needs the independence and exposure of daycare to grow into a well rounded boy.
This new chapter is good and necessary, but the hurdle to get there feels like a big one. I might need an adult soothie.
You’d be surprised how many very long white noise YouTube videos exist. And thank god for them.
I’ve learned so many ways to bond, care and play with my little boy over our almost three months home together. I’ve watched him grow from a six pound bundle of jerky newborn movements to a squishy 12 pound smiley boy full of spunk and joy.
And I’ve grown too—from a frazzled new mom who hesitated to leave him unsupervised for a bathroom break, to a frazzled new mom who laughs from the bathroom when crying starts while yelling back “you’re ok, one minute please!”
Sometimes I didn’t love my maternity leave. We had some long C- days. (I usually give Ben a report card grade on our day when he gets home from work.) But sometimes I loved it and had a hard time falling asleep at night knowing the next time I’d see Cameron he’d be a day older.
I’m simultaneously looking forward to going back to work next week and so sad to not be caring for Cameron everyday. I need the mental challenge and collaboration with coworkers to be the best version of myself for him. I know he needs the independence and exposure of daycare to grow into a well rounded boy.
This new chapter is good and necessary, but the hurdle to get there feels like a big one. I might need an adult soothie.