So I Don’t Forget

Six weeks ago six week could fly by unnoticed. I’d go to sleep in March and wake up wondering how it was almost May. Today it’s almost September. Six weeks ago I had no idea what this September would look like. Now we’ve made it here.

To be honest I’m not tracking time in months right now. Every day feels incredibly similar from the last with little hints of change as Cameron develops. It’s like a treadmill where the speed and incline kick up slowly without me knowing it.

Somewhere in the blur of the last six weeks we started getting gummy smiles. Cam may be too young to doll them out with purpose, but when he makes eye contact and beams it’s all the currency these hard working parents need.

As time goes by his curled in frog legs and folded in arms are quickly learning about the air around him. Now he’ll spring off us when we hold him as if he’s set on climbing a mountain, and he waves his arms around wildly trying to make sense of bumps and sounds.

We’re watching his personality sharpen each day. His deeply furrowed brow when he’s focused or mad, puffed out lower lip before a cry, wake-up stretching routine and just-relaxed-enough triple sigh are all the same from when we first brought him home—just more pronounced. I wonder how much of what we love right now will be a part of him as he grows.

Watching him grow is thrilling and rewarding, but what about yesterday and the day before that? What about those newborn onesies that no longer fit, or that tiny little guy who needed to be held close for comfort? How, after 30 years of feeling like every day is the same, do we be ok watching each new day for Cameron go by?

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