Bachelorette Bash


My Thursday-before-the-wedding bachelorette party was a true blast. We got our nails done, drank wine that tasted like Kool-Aid and I wore a little green party hat. I could tell you about my new go-to nail shade (OPI's Samoan Sand), or about the life changing artichoke burger we ordered for lunch—or I could tell you about Captain John.

My sister/MOH planned a Lake Michigan sunset cruise from South Haven. You can't get more Pure Michigan than that. With wine and snacks in hand, we walked down the marina dock toward a short, older, bearded guy decked out in white plus a bright teal windbreaker. This was Captain John—co-captain of “The Cat's Meow” sail boat.

John and his wife/co-captain Barb are retired and now give public cruises on their boat. They were great; friendly, outgoing, accommodating and eccentric. Barb took photos of us as we passed lighthouses and in front of the sunset and made us chocolate covered strawberries. John made sure our cups were always full and that no one accidentally fell overboard. They were excited to have us, especially John...

Oh c'mon Dana, you might say. He chatted with you girls about cats! He brought out teal blankets for everyone when the sun went down! He provided popcorn and snuggled up with his wife! And I'd say you're right. He also got a wee bit handys with Jill as she walked from the front to back of the boat. And he opened a bottle of Rose right onto his crotch. And then he said that one thing. What one thing? Well, you listen.



THAT one thing. That one thing that made us roll our eyes, laugh hysterically and recount later in the weekend for wedding guests. That one thing we're still laughing about. My Samoan Sand manicure is already chipping a bit, and that artichoke burger has fading from my taste buds, but cruising into the sunset with all my favorite girls—plus a mildly creepy older man? I'll remember and giggle about that forever.

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